Your worry is too luxurious.

Or so kfan says. And he quoted that from clannad, a tremendously unrealistic anime which features, among a truckload of girls, a guy seducing 2 twins to have threesome sex with him (no, don't take my word for it XD). And the twins are called Ryou and Kyou? How uncreative is that. I shall call them Ryou and Jan Vennegoor of Hesselink. There, now they're properly differentiated.

Anyway it wasn't really a choice. I didn't really have to choose and so I'm not worrying about what I should do. I've pretty much done it. I'm just worried. At... things. Things that are out of my control. How they turn out. Worried at how I might have to watch someone choose. And that worry is not luxurious at all.

I'm making a prophecy here. I am not fully understanding this. And I definitely don't know if I'm right.

The only sense I usually instill in people is that of don't-careness. I'm not very proficient at influencing people's feelings as a direct result of mine. I can't make people happy when I'm happy. Nobody really gets sad when I am either. People just don't care most of the time, and that's because I don't really give them a reason to. Which is why I can't quite grasp a situation where one's own dispositions can actually influence the person to affect his or her attitude, opinion and ultimately emotions, towards others. I sometimes wonder if that's morally fair.

So maybe I'm not personal enough to hurt people. They decide that I'm not going to leave them any money in my will so they don't actually have to bother whether I'm dead or not. But the good thing here is also that I don't owe anybody any emotional attachment. And if you're not this type of person, mighn't it be that you have a form of social responsibility towards those that you have brought close to you? So yes you have a particular need for someone to do a particular something for you, you have this desire to vent some feelings on someone, or you just want someone to be there for you. But what you want, need or desire from these people has completely nothing to do with your responsibility towards them.

Most people agree that you don't just live for yourself. But all of them have, probably at some point of time, done exactly just that.

Now you know why I hate the word responsibility. I have this certain biased opinion that if you don't, you're probably irresponsible.